Deanna: How do you know if someone has a gambling addiction?
Peter: Time and money. If it impairs time and if impairs a significant amount of money, it has the potential for a gambling problem. And if a person does not know how to manage time and money, it can cause big problems.
Even with some of the gamblers that come into the office, one of the things they always ponder is, “I just don’t understand why I do this”, “I just don’t understand how I do this”, “I just don’t understand how I got myself in this situation”, “I never had any problem with the law”, “I never had any problems with alcohol, drugs, always had core values, but, I just don’t understand how I did this”.
Deanna: So, what do you say to them in response?
Peter: I say, let’s explore some deep seeded issues. Let’s unravel some triggers that got you in this situation. I would probably at least 95% of the gamblers one of the common threads is that a house is not a home.
Deanna: What does that mean. Does that translate to intimacy issues, safety?
Peter: It ranges for everyone. But the theme that I encapsulate is that a house is not a home and they don’t want to go home whether it’s conflict, stress, avoiding, or it’s just overwhelming.
Deanna: How do they work through that?
Peter: We stat to talk about how to get their house back. How do we go about building a safe haven, how to make a house where you really want to go home and feel safe and secure?
Deanna: So, there is a safety issue?
Peter: Emotional safety.
Deanna: Is this a main aspect of treatment for addiction?
Peter: It’s one of them. It’s one of the tips of the ice burg that I explore with them. The other is the history of addiction. There is that genetic component of compulsivity, a history of gambling as well as any other addictions.
Deanna: How often do you see someone with a gambling addiction suffer from another addiction?
Peter: There are quite a few. I would say about 50% whether it’s alcohol, problems drinking. It’s very rare that I see drugs and gambling.
Deanna: Co-morbid addictions typically occur with alcohol?
Peter: It’s more alcohol. And, there is a small population with sex addiction.
Deanna: Do you treat both addictions and at the same time, substance abuse addiction and gambling addiction?
Peter: No, I don’t. I just treat the gambling addiction. If it’s something that we need to get into, we’ll look into that to see what we can do here or outsource them for the substance abuse addiction.
Deanna: Besides the obvious, what are some consequences with gambling addiction?
Peter: The thing with gamblers, they think, “Its my money”, “I’m an adult”, “I worked hard for my money”, “I earned this money”, “I can do whatever I want.”
Deanna: They have a lot of justification?
Peter: But a lot of times, what gamblers don’t realize is that there is a huge collateral cost with gambling. And one of the collateral costs is the emotional cost. When I talk about the emotional cost, I’m talking about that the gambler is not in the here and now in the presence of fulfilling their role as a husband, spouse, or their day-to-day responsibilities. If they have a job, they are not there emotionally to get their tasks accomplished. They aren’t there for their kids. They aren’t there to run part of the household and that’s a huge cost. And, this trickles down to the kids. There is a collateral cost that affects the entire family dynamic.
If the gambler is not there, there will be conflict within the household. Not only within the household but the other component is with their job. Gamblers with a job commit a lot of errors in their employment setting. They make lots of errors. They get written up, they get talked to. This is something they have not had the experience of being written up. They are unable to complete their tasks because they are preoccupied with what occurred with gambling.
Deanna: How big of a problem is gambling addiction?
Peter: Research says it’s about 3-5% of the population. My view is going to be very distorted because about 80-%90% of those that come into my office they have gambling problems. By the time they come into my office the flame is 10 feet high and I have a water hose to put it out. They are in way over their head.
Deanna: If someone goes through therapy for gambling addiction, are they ever cured or recovered?
Peter: Well, they are always going to have that on their back. They are always going to have that urge. It’s a matter how they regulate their triggers, how they make amends, fixing or working through and processing coping techniques to resolve those issues that lead to gambling.
Deanna: Do you have any other parting thoughts to share?
Peter: Don’t gamble.
