Anger Alternatives is a private practice specializing in the use of anger to manage and correct behavioral dysfunctions. My clients are men, women, adolescents and individuals in small businesses. They are clients who need to manage anger related behaviors that are sabotaging their lives, their relationships, or their work. My certification is in the over 40 years I have done this work as a coach. I am not a therapist.
The Anger Alternatives mission: “To teach tools that creates personal empowerment and respect-based relationships”. The program objectives are to affirm client’s anger and separate their anger feelings from anger related behaviors.
My work is with clients who tend to be reactionary, and in anger related circumstances act out on feelings aggressively, or react passively and allow themselves to be controlled through self-silencing. Reactionary, passive-aggressive, counterproductive and inappropriate behaviors need to be to be managed in order to change patterns in individuals or family life settings. Behaviors of this kind cause interpersonal stress and conflict that are re-occurring and can become chronic and patterned.
The initial tools I teach are focused to harness the anger itself in order to address clients’ underlying needs. Client outcomes are focused to affirm and recognize what is not OK for them. While anger may be the obvious or presenting problem, the issues addressed are likely to be more subtle.
Anger is about what is not OK. Client issues begin with identifying expectations and un-negotiated needs that often result in shame and conflict. Scripting learned as children set up expectations that leave clients with assumptions that do not work well in their adult lives. Resulting conflict might be expressed as drama and power struggles or control issues in personal relationships, at work or in family settings.
Anger or stress often shows up in adults and adolescents as:
• depression
• eating disorders
• emotional and physical abuse
• oppositional behaviors
• addictions of all kinds
• behavior disorders
• shame and conflict
• substance abuse
Anger might show up in work-related form as issues with an employee or an employer, or between co-workers. Work related stress might be the result of situations occurring at home or in reverse, work related issues might be carried home.
Client work starts with recognizing the conditions or circumstances that create anger; basically, “what is not OK”? What, where, when or with whom does that anger arise? What is the anger about?
Anger never happens in a vacuum.
Once causation is determined, the reactionary behavior is brought under control. If the client is reacting, he or she is still being controlled by the situation and is probably mismanaging whatever is not OK. When the unwanted reactionary behavior is brought under control new opportunities, wants and choices become available.
As the process progresses, clients are taught to apply and reinforce the newly learned tools in their day to day lives. My continued mentoring supports them to use their new tools with wisdom and good judgment.
In most cases, those who react to people, places or circumstances have a history of being abused or are likely abusive themselves. These are the people who would find working with me beneficial, gratifying and often life changing.
